10% Happier with Dan Harris Folgen

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Very often, when somebody pisses us off, our first instinct might be to plan some sort of revenge even if we rarely, if ever, actually follow through with it. Obviously, the trait of revenge seeking is counterproductive and it happens to also feel terrible. All the great wisdom traditions tell us that we should be forgiving instead and this isn't just some sort of finger wagging from the morality police; it's just straight up good advice. It's in your best interest not to be coiled up inside endless revenge fantasies. Of course, this is all easier said than done. Today, though, our guest, sujatha baliga, both says it, and does it. She has an extraordinary story: she was horribly abused by a family member, and then, after an encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, learned how to forgive the seemingly unforgivable. What's more, she now helps other people do that. Perhaps, starting now, even you. sujatha baliga is a long time Buddhist practitioner and internationally recognized leader in the field of restorative justice. She was named a 2019 MacArthur Fellow and is working on her first book.  Content Warning: This episode includes multiple references to violent and traumatic experiences, including homicide and incest. In this episode we talk about: Her personal story, including her early experience with sexual assault within her family Her life-changing encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, and her experience with learning to forgive with the help of meditation Her experience working in the criminal justice system  Her definition of restorative justice, why she believes we need it, and the three key questions it asks in each case Whether there is evidence that restorative justice works The limits of restorative justice What happens if someone who is the victim of a crime does want traditional punishment or even revenge How you can apply what she's learned in her life — including her time in the field of restorative justice — to our own lives And a specific meditation practice that can help you do it Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sujatha-baliga-565

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Meditation and mindfulness doesn't uproot your capacity to be judgmental, but it can help you see the value in being judgmental by learning how to work with the judging mind.  La Sarmiento has been practicing Vipassana meditation since 1998. La is a mentor for the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, a teacher with Cloud Sangha, and a contributor to the Ten Percent Happier app. In this episode we talk about: How mindfulness can help us identify when we're being judgmental The difference between discernment and judgment How it can be so delicious to be judgmental of others – but why it's actually harmful to ourselves and others The four questions to ask when we notice ourselves going into judgment mode  How to operationalize the phrase "am I suffering right now?"  Investigating the motivations behind striving for success  Why owning up to being a jerk is sometimes the exact right answer Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/la-sarmiento-564

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- This is the last episode in our four-part series where we're counter-programming against the way Valentine's Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family.  Today we're probing a mystery: Why, from an evolutionary standpoint do we take heartbreak and rejection so hard? It can send the body and mind into a vicious spiral. As one genomics researcher has said, "heartbreak is one of the hidden landmines of human existence."  There are countless pieces of art dedicated to heartbreak. Songs, movies, poems, the list is pretty much endless. But what does science say? Why does this happen to us? How exactly does the body react to a bad break up, from a romantic partnership, or a friendship or even a job? And what can we do to get over it? These are the questions the writer, Florence Williams decided to tackle after her own 25 year marriage fell apart. And the answers are fascinating. Florence Williams is a science journalist and author, and a contributing editor at Outside Magazine. Her latest book is called, Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey. It is just out in paperback, and has been nominated for the PEN/Wilson Award for Literary Science Writing.  In this episode we talk about: The passage of time as a way to heal all wounds The role purpose plays in recovery  William's three part heartbreak recovery toolkit (calming down, connecting to other people and finding purpose) The connection between openness and resilience How to become more open to a lack of closure The good and bad news about heartbreak And, rejecting some of the conventional approaches to heartbreak Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/florence-williams-562