10% Happier with Dan Harris Folgen

Our guest this week gives a bracingly candid account of loneliness - one made all the more remarkable by the fact that he is a former surgeon general. Even before the current coronavirus pandemic, we were in the midst of another, quieter pandemic: loneliness. The term sounds somewhat unpleasant, but make no mistake: loneliness is, in fact, a deeply pernicious and insidious state, both psychologically and physiologically. And now, with all the social distancing we're doing, the loneliness problem is on steroids. This problem touches those not only people who live alone, but also those of us who may be surrounded by family. Loneliness doesn't require you to be alone. As you will hear, it's more about the quality of your relationships. Our guest, Dr. Vivek Murthy is, as mentioned, the former surgeon general. He has just published a book about loneliness, called "Together." We're doing this episode in a bit of a different way. We actually interviewed Vivek twice. The first time I spoke to him was right before the pandemic truly took off in the U.S.. He gave an incredible interview that we were excited to post. But then things really went haywire with the virus, so we wanted to have him on to talk about that. So we'll do this episode in two parts. First, you'll hear the newer interview - which is more topical. Then you'll hear the earlier interview, where he goes into greater depth. Where to find Dr. Vivek Murthy online: Website: https://www.vivekmurthy.com/ Book: https://www.vivekmurthy.com/together-book Social Media: Twitter: https://twitter.com/vivek_murthy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrVivekMurthy/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drvivekmurthy Other Resources Mentioned: RULER at YALE http://ei.yale.edu/ruler/ruler-overview/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/vivek-murthy-238

Even in the middle of a pandemic, it's still OK to experience delight. That's per legendary meditation teacher, Sylvia Boostein. In fact, she says, moments of happiness can fortify you to deal with the difficulties we are all facing. In other words, joy is a necessity, not a luxury right now. That is just one of many wisdom bombs Boorstein drops in this conversation. We also discuss how to cultivate "inner cordiality" and the quality of mind that has become her "savior" in these dark days. Boorstein is a genuine contemplative O.G., part of the vanguard of teachers who introduced mindfulness into the American mainstream. She is still going strong in her mid-eighties, after having lived a colorful life. Not only is she one of America's most respected teachers, but she is also a psychotherapist, peace activist, and grandmother. As you'll hear, when she is not meditating, she is a gifted storyteller. She self-deprecatingly refers to it as "boundless talk-aremia," but I suspect that, for you, listening to Sylvia will, in itself, be a source of delight. Where to find Sylvia Boorstein online: Website: http://www.sylviaboorstein.com/ Social Media: Twitter: @SylviaBoorstein https://twitter.com/sylviaboorstein Facebook: Sylvia Boorstein - https://www.facebook.com/sylviaboorstein/ Book Mentioned: Pay Attention, for Goodness' Sake by Sylvia Boorstein - http://www.sylviaboorstein.com/books Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sylvia-boorstein-237 Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care

The coronavirus outbreak may pose one of the greatest challenges to romantic relationships in modern memory. For those of us living in close quarters with spouses or partners, how do we live our day to day without resorting to hollering, stony silence, or violations of local and federal statutes? For those of us living alone, what are the rules around online dating? Esther Perel is on the front lines of this battle. She is a renowned psychotherapist who continues to do couples counseling even as the pandemic rages. Much of this work can be heard on her popular podcast Where Should We Begin? She's also the author of the awesomely-entitled, bestselling book Mating in Captivity. In this episode, we cover the benefits of sex (even if you're not in the mood), humor, and a specific kind of "thank you." She also holds forth on anticipatory grief and a concept I found particularly compelling: "ambiguous loss." Where to find Esther Perel online: Website: https://www.estherperel.com/ Podcast: https://whereshouldwebegin.estherperel.com/ Podcast: https://howswork.estherperel.com/ Upcoming Live Broadcasts with Esther: "The Art of Us: Love, Loss, and Loneliness Under Lockdown" - https://events.estherperel.com/april-2020-webinar/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EstherPerel Other Resources Mentioned: Tanya Selvaratman: Where Can Domestic Violence Victims Turn During COVID-19? https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/23/opinion/covid-domestic-violence.html Pauline Boss - Ambiguous Loss - https://www.ambiguousloss.com/ John Gottman - The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com/ Megan Flemming - https://greatlifegreatsex.com/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Show Notes: https://tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/esther-perel-236