10% Happier with Dan Harris Folgen

Most, if not all, of us are experiencing a cocktail of challenging emotions these days - whether in the background or in the foreground of our psyche. Speaking personally, I thought my primary issue was anxiety, but I had a vague sense that maybe it was more than that. Then I read an excellent, widely-circulated article that put a name to at least one aspect of my nameless, miasmatic dread. The article was from the Harvard Business Review, and the headline was, "That Discomfort You're Feeling is Grief." The article featured an interview with a grief expert named David Kessler, who explained that there are many flavors of grief. Some of us are grieving people we've lost, but millions more are grieving a way of life or a sense of security that seems lost - or we're experiencing anticipatory grief about an uncertain future. Not only was it helpful for Kessler to name this phenomenon, but he also had a bunch of excellent thoughts about how to manage it, including the exhortation to find meaning in this mess. In fact, that's the name of his new book: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. So we invited him on. Here he is: David Kessler. Where to find David Kessler online: Website: https://grief.com/ Social Media: Twitter: @IamDavidKessler / https://twitter.com/iamdavidkessler Instagram: @iamdavidkessler / https://www.instagram.com/iamdavidkessler/ Facebook: David Kessler / https://www.facebook.com/IamDavidKessler/ Books Mentioned: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief / https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Meaning-Sixth-Stage-Grief/dp/1501192736 On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss / https://www.amazon.com/Grief-Grieving-Finding-Meaning-Through/dp/0743266293 Other Resources Mentioned: David's Online Grief Group / https://www.facebook.com/groups/DavidKessler David's Harvard Business Review Article / https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief Paul Denniston & Grief Yoga / https://griefyoga.com/ Bessel van der Kolk / https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/ Elizabeth Kubler Ross / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_K%C3%BCbler-Ross Elizabeth Kubler Ross Foundation / https://www.ekrfoundation.org/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/david-kessler-240

It's easy to add insult to injury in this pandemic by beating ourselves up. Why are we not exercising more? Eating less? Or boosting our productivity? Kristin Neff, an associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin, says we need to give ourselves a break. To be clear, that does not mean relinquishing our high standards. Neff is one of - if not the - world's leading experts on self-compassion. That's a squishy-sounding term, but there is a lot of hard-nosed evidence behind it. Per Neff, not beating yourself up does not equate to being lazy. It's about knowing the difference between healthy perfectionism and maladaptive perfectionism. It's about going easy without going soft. The smart, sparing use of the inner cattle prod. This was exactly the conversation I needed to have right now. Where to find Kristin Neff online: Website: https://self-compassion.org/ Social Media: Twitter: @self_compassion / https://twitter.com/self_compassion Facebook: Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, Ph.D. / https://www.facebook.com/selfcompassion Other Resources Mentioned: Richard Schwartz, Internal Family Systems / https://ifs-institute.com/ Evelyn Tribole, Intuitive Eating / https://www.evelyntribole.com/ Chris Germer / https://chrisgermer.com/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kristin-neff-239

Our guest this week gives a bracingly candid account of loneliness - one made all the more remarkable by the fact that he is a former surgeon general. Even before the current coronavirus pandemic, we were in the midst of another, quieter pandemic: loneliness. The term sounds somewhat unpleasant, but make no mistake: loneliness is, in fact, a deeply pernicious and insidious state, both psychologically and physiologically. And now, with all the social distancing we're doing, the loneliness problem is on steroids. This problem touches those not only people who live alone, but also those of us who may be surrounded by family. Loneliness doesn't require you to be alone. As you will hear, it's more about the quality of your relationships. Our guest, Dr. Vivek Murthy is, as mentioned, the former surgeon general. He has just published a book about loneliness, called "Together." We're doing this episode in a bit of a different way. We actually interviewed Vivek twice. The first time I spoke to him was right before the pandemic truly took off in the U.S.. He gave an incredible interview that we were excited to post. But then things really went haywire with the virus, so we wanted to have him on to talk about that. So we'll do this episode in two parts. First, you'll hear the newer interview - which is more topical. Then you'll hear the earlier interview, where he goes into greater depth. Where to find Dr. Vivek Murthy online: Website: https://www.vivekmurthy.com/ Book: https://www.vivekmurthy.com/together-book Social Media: Twitter: https://twitter.com/vivek_murthy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrVivekMurthy/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drvivekmurthy Other Resources Mentioned: RULER at YALE http://ei.yale.edu/ruler/ruler-overview/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/vivek-murthy-238